Thursday, February 28, 2008

Note to Self

Dear Body,

Big Giant Head here - I think we have a few things to talk about. First off, let me say, I think you have done a fairly decent job the last soon to be forty years. Oh sure, a few blips here and there and some quirks that I have come to look at as eccentricities - but in general, your approval rating has improved and remained somewhat steady for some time now. However, there is one area I feel that we have had more than a little trouble with. Now, I am keeping heart out of this - I know she can be rather sentimental and emotional and harbors some resentments and disappointments still. I will just say - she's been through a lot - great joys as well as great pain and deserves a bit of understanding and consideration on the rest of our parts. No, the main thing I wanted to discuss with you at this time was our dropping the ball in the reproductive area. Yes - that would be you ovaries and uterus, and to a slightly lesser extent, cervix. Now - don't go pointing fingers and start name calling. Uterus, you do have a valid point - that you could have done your job much better if not for a bit of laziness on part of the ovaries. Yes - there are two of them and you would think that since there are twice as many of them, they could get their acts together without a bunch of argument. Ovaries - I will allow that you finally did get around to working the way you should - however, your timing sucks. I mean - you two didn't start figuring things out until uterus started heading into retirement. Yes, you did manage to produce six lovely and wonderful children - for which I feel eternally blessed. I just wish it didn't have to take so much effort beyond what was reasonable and also the fact that when looking at our final stats - it took us on average two conceptions each time to produce one living child, not to mention an awful lot of medical intervention and ovary flogging. Yes - I know I said I was keeping heart out of this. Fact is people, seven miscarriages is physically difficult also, certainly a bit excessive. Notwithstanding that all those hormones, fertility drugs and medical procedures came with a lot of extra issues we would not have had to deal with also had you just all done your jobs properly. I treated you guys well too - no cigarettes, alcohol or extreme sports - a varied and healthy diet. I'm just saying. Okay, okay - we're not here to argue that I didn't know when to quit. Just keep in mind that if I did quit sooner - we probably would be hearing a lot more from heart on this matter and the Big Giant Head would be in a lot more therapy. Do you really want to head back down the extreme self-loathing road? Because I would really rather not. At any rate - what's done is done now. Yes, stomach - we all know how you dislike being ignored. Everyone - stomach wants us all to know how all the turmoil upsets her delicate constitution and sense of equilibrium. Stomach - you need to remember to continue working on the whole "food is fuel - not therapy" issue. Then maybe we could say goodbye to our unwelcome guests jello belly, cottage cheese butt and thunder thighs. You can quit rolling your eyes too bladder - this extremely co-dependent relationship you have going on with uterus is not healthy. Remember - uterus is going to be leaving us for sunnier climes soon and adhesions or no, you're just going to have to let go and move on. We still need you - liver and kidneys would be lost without you. Uterus - you did okay. You have been much abused and much maligned over the course of our time together. You definitely are in need of a long, long, long, long rest and it is coming soon - I promise. Remember guys, we are all in this together - sum of our parts, and all that blah blah yada yada stuff. Whining about how some of us are literally stuck together is not helpful, nor is blaming each other. We could still put another forty years in on this planet and it is easier if we all pull together and try to make things as good as possible for everyone involved. Remember what happened to gall bladder? I'm just saying.


Link to Letter to My Body project: Blogher Letter to My Body


A said...

I LOVE it! Wonderful letter!

loribeth said...

I love it too!! Great post!

Katie said...

Great letter to your body!

Oh, and thank you for all of your support over the past few weeks. Of COURSE I don't mind you linking to me - I'm honored!