Thursday, March 27, 2008

Rumors of My Fanny's Worth May Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Remember the Pharmaceutical Supply Company that made such a big stink about payment "up front"? They've been calling me. Two weeks after I made payment arrangements, wiped out our HRA and they shipped the injection - they are calling me, asking me when they are going to receive payment.

Now - this would be funny if it weren't so flipping annoying (not to mention had been so flipping expensive.) Also funnier still if I weren't fielding these idiotic phone calls while dealing with massive headaches from the silly injection in question. I don't remember annoying phone calls being on the insert in the section marked "Potential Side Effects".

I gave them the claim number and the dates the insurance processed the claim. I reminded them that they wouldn't even ship out the injection at all until I paid them. (two weeks ago) Reminded them they shipped the injection out. (two weeks ago). Six phone calls in 2 days (2 on my cellphone which I refused to pick up - not wasting minutes on morons). I regurgitated the same info multiple times. Details, Dates, Claim number . . . Details, Dates, Claim number . .. . Lather, rinse, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat . . . Not giving you any more and if you want it back, well that's a tough one. If you have a good process for extracting a $2000 injection from one's posterior - let me know. Otherwise, just call the insurance company and give them the claim number I gave you multiple times now and let them tell you how stupid you are, cause I really am tired of this. Perhaps you have become obsessed with how sexy my voice sounds when I am battling lupronheadachepalooza and sounding exasperated - but please, you're just really going to have to let it go. Perhaps there is someone at the insurance company you can transfer your strange obsession to. I'm not answering the phone anymore if it's you. Caller ID baby.

While going through this strangely unpleasant and frustrating exercise (because really, I do have nothing better to do all day long than to tell people how WRONG they are and I can do nothing to help relieve them of their current affliction) I also discovered that there was a significant amount of funds I paid out that was "above what was customary" according to our insurance. Because it was above customary, they didn't apply it to our deductible. We paid it, it doesn't count. At this rate, I will never meet my deductible. Lovely Insurance Games We Play for $400 Alex.

Though, this frustrating tale does have a somewhat happy ending. Because my advice was finally heeded and they turned their attentions to the insurance company - my insurance company set them on the road to rehabilitation. They also reminded the pharmaceutical bill collector from the 7th circle about customary charges. I got back the $400 "overcharge". The last phone call was somewhat apologetic and humbled sounding. Ohhh, were the big bad insurance guys mean to wittle diddums? Ohhhhh, did they make you give back the $400 you thought you could sneak past us? Sorry to break your heart buddy. NOT!

I am now however, trying to come to terms with only having a $1600 fanny as opposed to a $2000 one. Two grand just sounds ever so much more impressive.

Guess it really is true what they say - everything starts to depreciate the minute you drive it off the lot . . .

1 comment:

Searching said...

Thanks for the anniversary wishes!

I'm glad you are getting $400 back! Just think, with appreciation and the way the pharmaceuticals market is racking up their prices, your fanny will be a cool million in no time! :)